Once more, I find myself asking this question: has anyone ever done this all by him or herself? The “this” I refer to is college. It seems to be a recurring theme in the sitcom that is my life. People keep telling me, “Oh, you don’t need financial help from anyone else! You can do this all by yourself!” Then, I ask the deadly question, “Who paid for your college tuition?” The answer, of course, is mom and dad. It honestly grows tiresome when people who have been receiving financial support tell me I can do something they haven’t done themselves. Usually, it’s not the, “I believe you can do this by yourself” optimism. Rather, it is a condescending, “Stop asking for financial help! Pay for your own tuition, housing, etc.” Once again, all the criticism comes from those who already have their degrees, paid for by mom and dad.

      Why can’t I receive advice from someone who has been in my situation, and has pulled through? It’s like a house wife telling a working mom how to balance a career and raising kids. You simply can not advise on matters in which you have no personal experience. Don’t believe me? Then, think about situation you went through: divorce, unplanned pregnancy, molestation, being arrested, etc. I never went through those hard ships. So, would it be fair for me to give criticism disguised as advice on those matters? Not in my opinion. I could never honestly help anyone cope with certain matters until it happened to me. Sometimes, you need to feel the pain before you can help others. 

I give up on making/keeping friends. The door is open for everyone to leave. However, the door is not open for anyone else to come inside

hopeonarope11:

I can’t login to Pottermore today, and I haven’t received any of the reset password or remember my username emails…

My username is StarCrimson9395 do I even still exist?

I feel like I should have received an owl with my expulsion letter if that’s the case

I’ve been experiencing the same problem V__V Ugh.

     I used to believe that I had many caring friends. I would justify people mistreating me by blaming myself or the person’s family. However, I reached a point in my life when I realized that I rarely lashed out at my friends for the problems my family caused. I had this “earth-shattering” epiphany when my boyfriend pointed out that my complaints were not materialistic, unlike my “friends”. For example, a former friend of mine became angry with me because we could not be partners in lab. The reason why I could not partner with this person is because my live-in parent’s gambling addiction was more important than paying my tuition. Now, does it seem fair for this friend to be angry with me? I certainly don’t think so. I flat out told this person that I may not be able to register for school, and to have a Plan B.   

      For those who are asking, (because people always need to criticize), I did help out with the tuition. In fact, according to my former university’s statistics, I paid much more on my tuition than BOTH my parents combined. Oh, and to those who are saying I should pay my tuition on my own, please answer these three short questions:

1. Have you ever attended college? If no, then your opinion is not valid simply because you do not have the experience required to critique me.  
2. Did you pay your tuition yourself? If no, then congratulations. You are a hypocrite which makes your opinion much more invalid than those who answered “no” to question number one.
3. Did you complete college? If no, details. I can’t pass a judgement on your opinion without it.

Now that I have given my slightly rude disclaimer, let’s carry on with my point of this blog.

     My “friends” have misplaced their anger on me for years now. I only tolerated it because I’m a great PR rep for everyone but myself. Well, after years of voluntary PR work for deplorable people, I quit. I am emotional drained because the friends people I knew were leeches. People never took money from me. However, some people used me for: homework, free therapy, match-making, flunky, spot-filler, etc. Spot-filler is a term I created to describe what I was to host of parties. For example, one friend “life form” from high school begged me to go to Graduation Party…because the cool people did not want to be around her.

     Yes, I realize that I allowed this to happen. (“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” - A wonderful lady named Ellie) And thus, I realize that I needed to stop. This one “human being” (lack of better term) said, “Friendship is when two or more people use each other equally.

    <—— my legitimate reaction to that statement.

      As you can see, I’ve had a buffet of selfish children who called themselves my friends. I wondered what personality flaw I possessed to attract such miscreants. Well, I finally know what is wrong with me. My problem is that I always find a problem with myself. I never say, “Oh, Mitch is a poor excuse for a friend. He ignores his friends for his girlfriend.” Or, “Kyla was a b*tch to me that day because she wanted someone to do her work for her.” I always say, “Mitch is ignoring me because I’m annoying.” Or, “Kyla was mean because she was hurt that I’m leaving college.” Well, Mitch and Kyla (names were changed to protect the guilty), You two ruined your friendship with me back in September of 2011. Hence the reason why the both of you only saw me a grand total of 5 times, if that, since then. And guess what? I only make plans with you two when I’m bored or desperate to get out of my apartment. How does it feel to be used for selfish reasons? Sucks, doesn’t it?

      Now, I have another idiot that I need to ignore….

               And, I know I won’t miss him at all.

          To all those former friends whom felt as though being friends with me was too much, I sincerely hope you find someone who will tolerate you the way I used to. Then again, I don’t think Jesus Christ would want to talk to you either. Good luck in life….you’ll need it =)

I’m the typical young adult: I have ideas, not plans. I have dreams, not goals. I think anyone who is my age in this day and age understands what I mean. I thought my mom could understand, considering she claims she remembers how it felt to be my age. However, she remembers having plans and goals, not ideas and dreams. Maybe my mother was more strict about her life than I am. I do not know. All I know is that it seems to me that older generations knew what they wanted and got it.

Most people in my generation (and people can’t decide if I’m Generation Y or Z, I’ll get back to that in another blog) seem to be having quarter life crises! And who the hell can blame us? College is expensive as all hell, jobs are scarce, and people can’t decide if we’re adults or children! Not only that, but any of us who are creative are ridiculed because the economy is, supposedly, too fragile for us to be spending our lives enjoying life. Nope, it needs to be nothing but work, day in and day out. I wonder what is the purpose of constantly working? I thought jobs were created to better humanity? How could humanity as a whole be made better when no one is enjoying their lives?

……..I prefer to work to live, not live to work. 

What I am saying is this. I am lost and confused. I don’t know what I want to do with my life and it scares me when it shouldn’t. It shouldn’t scare me because I’m 21 years old. Why does it scare me? Because society has told me I should be starting a career and a family within the next 4 years. Why do I listen to society? I don’t know. I do know this: It makes me more lost and confused. 

I don’t know what I want from my life, or where I want it to go. And, I’m going to try my best to be OK with that. All I know is that I want to get to know more people, explore the world, and be happy.

That is my only plan and goal in life. The rest are all ideas and dreams.  

Dear TUMBLR,

SARAJEVO — Two intoxicated youths duct-taped a firework in a German shepherd’s mouth and blew off his face. But the torture didn’t stop there. The poor dog, known as Vucko, wandered for five days, unable to eat and with maggots infecting the meaty pulp of his ruined face. Vucko was finally picked up by authorities and euthanized after vets were unable to perform reconstructive surgery.

HELP OUT AND SIGN THE PETITION

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/441/petition-for-the-dog-whose-face-was-torn-off-after-people-put-a-lit-firework-in-his-mouth-and-later/

Dear TUMBLR,

SARAJEVO — Two intoxicated youths duct-taped a firework in a German shepherd’s mouth and blew off his face. But the torture didn’t stop there. The poor dog, known as Vucko, wandered for five days, unable to eat and with maggots infecting the meaty pulp of his ruined face. Vucko was finally picked up by authorities and euthanized after vets were unable to perform reconstructive surgery.

HELP OUT AND SIGN THE PETITION

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/441/petition-for-the-dog-whose-face-was-torn-off-after-people-put-a-lit-firework-in-his-mouth-and-later/

Robots

Let me start out by saying that I do realize that the Bosnian people are facing the same cruelty. However, I cannot ignore the case of Vucko. Vucko was a beautiful, female German Sherpherd whose innocent life was cut short by “two intoxicated youths.” These two piles of filth duct taped a firework into Vucko’s mouth. The top portion of her mouth was blown completely off. Because of the gruesome and inhumane actions, Vucko was unable to eat, and maggots began to feast on her wounded areas. Bosnian vets tried everything they could to help her, but it was too late. The best they could do was offer Vucko a peaceful death.

I know some may wonder why I am interesting in this case; It’s simply because the Bosnian government does not have any laws against animal cruelty, which means Vucko’s murderers will be able to go through life without feeling justice. Any of you who have a soft spot, please do help out. All people ask is if you sign this petition. Even if it “won’t do anything”, at least YOU can go to bed at night knowing you DID do something.

Bless you all

Link to the petition

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/441/petition-for-the-dog-whose-face-was-torn-off-after-people-put-a-lit-firework-in-his-mouth-and-later/?cid=FB_TAF

Nice way to contradict your character’s characteristics…